Tuesday, April 03, 2007

The Dog, the Cross, and the Grave

In honor of the seventh anniversary of my dad being in heaven, I resurrected this essay on what Easter is really all about.

Have you walked on any graves lately?I've been in a funk lately. In all honesty it's been a rather tough year for me on a personal level. One moment it's New Years Eve and the next it's Easter, the start of spring. Somewhere along the way I celebrated yet another birthday and another wedding anniversary. Somewhere along the way I sold another book and picked up some writing assignments which keep me busy from dawn to dusk. Somewhere along the way I think I lost sight of what is mankind's true reason for being here in the first place. And so I've been doing some reevaluating.

Today I'd thought I'd share my take on the "Big Question" or the "Ultimate Question" with you. You know which one I'm talking about--the one satirist Douglas Adams of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy fame wrote extensively about in his book, Life, The Universe and Everything. The ultimate question the deserves an ultimate answer. It being such a large one, where can I begin but with something familiar to me and work my way out. . .

As every good novelist knows (please, no comments here from my editors and critiquers) you have to intuitively know how your story is going to turn out before you begin it. Sure most people enjoy "character driven" stories--I know I do-- but the writer must have some idea where the characters are heading to before she or he sets them off on their fictional journey towards it. The romance genre is a perfect example. Somewhere along the line, in spite of all misunderstandings or terrible interventions by other usually well-meaning characters, the hero and the heroine have to discover their true love for each other.

Despite what people unfamiliar with the genre think, this doesn't necessarily mean the hero and heroine will end up walking down the aisle together, living together, or even sharing a kiss. All the romance reader wants to know at story's end is whether or not these two people have come to terms with what is in their hearts. Therefore, the romance novel is not so much a "formula story" peopled with cookie-cutter characters and predictable plotting, but a window on an evolving relationship between two individuals. It's the process the protagonists must endure--and not the outcome of it--which is in doubt, and romance fans have come to find great satisfaction in the endless variations on that theme of relationship building.

What's all this nonsense about novel writing have to do with the search for the answer to the "ultimate question to life, the universe and everything?" Well, let me tell you in one word--everything. In order for us to know how to live each day of our short existence on this planet it is essential we know where we are going. In other words, we need to focus on the outcome of our journey, and we need to work on our relationship with the One who ultimately will lead us there.

To clarify further, I'm not talking about going down to the corner store to pick up some hamburger buns for dinner. I'm talking about where we're all going to wind up sooner or later. To be succinct, allow me to quote a line from a popular science fiction movie, spoken by a famous alien from the planet Vulcan: "How we face death is how we face life." Our life's journey ends in the grave, pure and simple.

There's no way around it, so we all must come to grip with this fact. It's the how we deal with this distressing bit of information which separates the women from the girls, the men from the boys, and the humans from the aliens. This is where the relationship bit comes into play.Allow me to digress a moment and tell you a story in order to make my point.

My sister Cathy e-mailed me a digital photo of our father's new headstone. It was put in place a little over a month after the funeral, and she was kind enough to travel back up to Kentucky in order to snap a picture of it. It's very nice as headstones go, and Cathy joked, "I had to stand on top of Daddy in order to take a decent shot. I felt funny doing that. It reminded me of all the 'graveyard etiquette' we learned." I knew exactly what she meant.

When we were young, we used to walk around a cemetery directly behind our grandparents' home near Greer, South Carolina. Both of them now rest in that particular cemetery, but that isn't why that field comes to mind. I remember how our grandmother told us not to "go running on top of people" in the big green field whenever we went on a walk with her. We learned it was the epitome of ill-breeding to dance across someone's grave, and so we politely refrained from doing so.

It makes sense--we certainly shouldn't distress the loved ones of the deceased by chewing up the grass with our heels and possibly kicking over their lovingly placed flower arrangements. By showing respect for the dead, we are showing respect towards the living, loving our neighbors as ourselves as the Golden Rule tells us to do. However,--and this is a big 'however'--this is the only reason people should refrain from trampling on graves.

Let's be honest--the folks six feet under aren't going to care much one way or the other. In fact, I believe a good portion of them aren't really there anyway. Huh? What I'm saying is that, yes, you could dig up their bones and retrieve bits of clothing and keepsakes from their corpses, but they aren't really there anymore.

My father wasn't really there under Cathy's feet while she snapped the photo of his gravestone--his journey's end on earth has springboarded him into a new adventure, an exciting adventure which has no end.You see, despite all my dad's faults he never stopped believing for a second that when his earthly trip was over he wasn't going to meet up with his Lord and Savior and begin a new journey through eternity with Him. This is where "journey" and "relationship" meet.

Just as Jesus rose from the tomb on the third day after his crucifixion and death, all who come to faith in Him--begin a relationship with Jesus--believe that after this brief period of time called life we will do likewise. Our bones rest in the earth for now, but our spirits keep on traveling until they come to our ultimate destination, being one with God. Our trip isn't over just because we're placed in a coffin--it's just begun.

Whenever I'm feeling down, I stop and make myself contemplate where my journey will ultimately end. I think of Jesus, our loving "shepherd," who will guide us "sheep" on this next step of our existence, and that thought snaps me out of any self-made misery. My daily journey doesn't seem so overwhelming and tiresome whenever I think of the "Big Picture" and visualize our "Big Guide" waiting there at Heaven's gate for us.

It's the ultimate romance story, I think--the relationship I have with Jesus here today will be celebrated tomorrow with all believers in Heaven. It should be quite a party. I'm looking forward to meeting up with Dad and lots of other dear friends and relatives. We'll have to lots to talk and joke about--particularly when I tell Dad about how I spotted a stray dog running up to his grave right after the ceremony when we were driving off and did, well, you know, a doggy thing on top of it. . .

Obviously that dog had never been taught any graveyard etiquette! But before you get too upset about it, just stop and think: Maybe this little incident demonstrates a very important truth... One of God's simpler creatures, the dog, demonstrates a faith stronger than we humans possess.

The dog instinctively knew Dad wasn't there.